If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
