I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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