I faked an abortion last night.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
