Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we're making bets on your personal life
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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