im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
