YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
