we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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