omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
