well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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