you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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