I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
love makes seman taste better
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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