I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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