Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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