Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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