Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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