What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
