I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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