Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
