Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
