Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
