Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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