Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
two words: eviction party
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
