We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize