Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
