Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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