i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My vagina is officially offended.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
