Redeem this text for a blowjob
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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