a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
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