im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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