So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
