i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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