oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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