just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
