summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
