After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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