So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
