Pappa wants mamma naked
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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