If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm gonna fight the coyote
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
