Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
