butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Randomize
