I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
