Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
