I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
