Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
