turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Randomize
