Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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