That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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