That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
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She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just want to make out with him forever
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He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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