6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
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