So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
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Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
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my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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