yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
