Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
A bitchslap is in order.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
