I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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