oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize