I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
