hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
