Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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