You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
