super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
