My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i need some magic done to my vagina
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
