Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
