chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
