You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
