I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
