pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
