There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize